Forgive Her Anything
by phati-sari
Summary: In love with his brother-in-law's mistress, Arnav Singh Raizada is torn between his duties as a brother and his feelings for a woman who could destroy everything he loves. Meanwhile, Khushi pines for her husband in India, fearing that he'll never believe the truth. Will they be able to work out the misunderstandings between them and start again?
1. Chapter 1: Arnav

_Author's Note: This story is set after Episode 257. Instead of Khushi finding out that Arnav didn't make it to the conference - or to London for that matter - she goes to visit him while he's at the conference. There's no kidnapping, but everything until the phone call Khushi receives in the car on the way to the airport is still true in the AU._

 _The story will be told in close third person and each chapter will alternate points of view between Khushi and Arnav._

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Arnav**

The room slowly darkened around Arnav as he sat at the window of his hotel room, watching people rush by on the street far below. Couples walked hand in hand, parents with their children between them, and those without companions rushed to their next destination with their phones glued to their ears. It was easier to contemplate the lives of the strangers on the street than to turn his thoughts to himself.

As the shadows lengthened, however, he couldn't stop the memories from flooding back. His mother's smile, her fragrance, her laughter, and her soft words of advice. Her gentle touch on his forehead, as he was about to fall asleep. Her sweet voice bringing him comfort after a nightmare.

Her scream on the day of his sister's wedding.

The crash of smashing glass brought Arnav back to his surroundings. He glared at the broken remains of his drink before picking up his phone to type in Di's number, but stopped before he was finished. He couldn't talk to her. He couldn't talk to anyone right now. He threw the phone back on the table, ignoring the many missed calls and messages.

Di always asked him why he needed to get out of India on their mother's birthday, why he couldn't stay and share his grief with her and the rest of their family. Arnav had never found the words to tell her that he was scared of how they would react to his grief and anger. He never wanted them to see this side of him.

His memories were almost too painful to bear. He knew that he could run to the other side of the world and they wouldn't stop plaguing him, but he couldn't imagine being in India on his mother's birthday. It was a pain he didn't think he would survive.

Arnav avoided alcohol when he could, disliking the loss of control that came with the indulgence. But once a year, on his mother's birthday, he drank himself to oblivion in an effort to cope with the memories. Another reason that he chose to spend this day away from his family – they, especially Di, couldn't see him like that.

The gathering darkness made it hard to see the street below; the London evening was slowly coming to life. It was time to go.

Arnav reached for his wallet, jacket and hotel key card, turned all the lights off, and walked out to the elevator, leaving behind his phone and his ties to those he'd left behind.


	2. Chapter 2: Khushi

**Chapter 2: Khushi**

Khushi's hand shook as she handed over her boarding pass and newly minted passport to the customs official. She could hardly believe that Nani and Di had arranged for her to fly to London to see her husband.

The security personnel barely spared her a glance as she walked through the sensors and gates before making her way to the First Class Lounge. She sat on a plush sofa near a window, still dazed by how quickly everything had happened.

Planes, big and small, took off and landed as she watched, their bright lights blinking at her in the night like multi-colored stars.

She remembered the conversation she'd once had with Arnav-ji about their parents watching over them as stars. He'd asked her if his mother was happy, proud of the person he'd grown up to be. She'd wanted, _desperately_ , to tell him that his mother would be proud of him, of the man he was, but she couldn't, not when she knew next to nothing about his mother. About his past.

The call for boarding startled Khushi from her reminiscing. The plush seats, rich wooden paneling, and luxurious carpeting of First Class couldn't distract Khushi from her racing thoughts. Even the screen that rose from some unseen panel in front of her failed to occupy her, and she sat in her own corner of the plane, anxiously clutching at the safety manual. Her aunt, Mami-ji, had told her to watch the safety briefing carefully, and she had, but it only fuelled her anxiety. She wished the flight were already over and she was in the safety of her husband's arms.

Khushi managed some sleep and awoke just as they were preparing to land. Twenty minutes later, she got her first glimpse of her destination: a blaze of lights and dazzling colour.

The process of getting off the plane was much the same as when she'd embarked – the friendly staff helped her every step of the way and before long she was passing through the electronic customs gates. She collected her meager luggage and passed through a number of security checks before finally reaching her destination.

She stopped when she saw a crowd of people waiting in the Arrivals area. Had Arnav-ji gotten Di's message? Would he be there to pick her up? Was he angry at her presumption, angry that she'd flown to London to see him without first telling him?

She remembered the way they'd parted at Delhi airport. When he'd turned to leave that final time she had felt her soul being ripped out of her. Until that moment she hadn't truly believed he was going – she thought his anger would disappear once she explained everything to him and that he would stay. But Shyam had never arrived and Arnav-ji had left.

Khushi missed him so much. Everything in the house had reminded her of him. It wasn't just his clothes in the closet and his files on the tables. Every room in the house held memories of him.

The kitchen, where he'd fainted and she had frantically tried to rouse him with water and then with sweets, her anxiety over him threatening to overwhelm her; where he'd seen the 'A' in her henna.

The lounge room, where he'd caught her when she had stumbled dancing with Nanhe-ji; where he'd invented a phone call to help her pick a sari of his choosing.

The guest room, where he'd cornered her after Jiji and Jija-ji's _sangeet_ , standing so close to her that she was sure he'd heard her heart racing.

His pool, where he'd kissed her for the first time; where he'd been a breath from kissing her at Diwali; where he'd untangled her from the fairy lights.

He was everywhere. Arnav Singh Raizada was imprinted on the surface of her skin, on her very soul, and Khushi didn't know how she was still able to breathe without him.

She knew her family must be confused, wondering why she couldn't handle a few days of separation from her husband. How could she explain to them that she'd felt they were saying a final goodbye at the airport? She'd inexplicably and irrationally felt that if she didn't convince him to stay that she would never get the chance to explain things to him again. That he would never trust her again.

A passer-by bumped into Khushi, jolting her from her thoughts. She made her way forward to the Arrivals area with tears blurring her vision. A part of her prayed that she would see him soon, while another prayed just as fervently for a delay in their meeting.


	3. Chapter 3: Arnav

**Chapter 3: Arnav**

Arnav sat alone in the club, engaged in watching strangers for the second time that night. He nursed an untouched glass of whiskey.

Memories of Khushi troubled him alongside those of his mother. It felt wrong to think of the woman who wanted to tear apart his sister's marriage, now, so close to his mother's birthday. Mamma had killed herself because of infidelity, and now he lived every moment in fear that Di would do the same if she found out.

But his mind wouldn't stop replaying every moment he'd shared with Khushi. His disgust in himself, in his love for her, mingled with the agony he felt at his separation from her.

Leaving her at the airport had been torturous. It had taken all of his willpower to stop himself from going back to her - her tears and pleas for his time had nearly undone his resolve. He'd desperately wanted to believe her but as their time had run out, he'd come to accept that she had no explanation for herself.

As usual, he questioned his decisions when he was alone. It'd rocked him to the core when she'd claimed that her mysterious fiancé had been his brother-in-law Shyam, that Shyam had never told her family he was married, that he'd betrayed them all.

The story seemed believable given what he now knew about Shyam and his disgusting thoughts about both Khushi and Di, but he had to trust himself. He had to trust what he'd seen, what he'd heard. He couldn't forget that Khushi had urged Shyam to leave Di. That Shyam had claimed that the only thing that stood in their way was Di.

Arnav didn't know how to reconcile his love for his family and his sister with his love for Khushi. There hadn't been a day in his six month contract of a wedding when he hadn't thought of what he'd seen on that terrace, but there had been plenty of moments where he'd forgotten. Moments where he'd given in and indulged in his attraction to her, in the way his heartbeat quickened when he saw her, in the way her touch made him weak.

When he came to his senses, he was always disgusted with himself, with how much he _wanted_ her, and reacted with anger and malice. He especially hated Khushi's act of innocence: her pleas for him to stop hurting her, to consider her feelings, to tell her _why_ he'd held her sister's wedding hostage until she'd agreed to an elopement.

Now he wondered if it was an act at all.

Then, at her aunt's house, removed from his family, removed from the constant reminders of Shyam's betrayal, he'd started to forget. A crumpled piece of gift-wrap had shattered his illusion and forced him to confront reality.

An all-too-familiar feeling broke his thoughts. Air rushed past him and he felt short of breath. His pulse stuttered and then started up again, loud and almost painful in its vigor.

 _Khushi._

But she couldn't be here.

Could she?


	4. Chapter 4: Khushi

**Chapter 4: Khushi**

Khushi was torn between relief and sadness that her husband hadn't picked her up from the airport. She'd come into the Arrivals area to find a smartly dressed chauffeur holding a sign – "Mrs. Khushi Singh Raizada" – and had followed him to this beautiful white car. He would drop her to Arnav-ji's hotel, he'd said, just as Di had arranged.

Lights flashed by, from buildings and cars, but Khushi forgot to enjoy the sights of this new city. Her apprehension grew with every passing second, every moment that brought her closer to Arnav-ji.

In a span of time that simultaneously felt like seconds and years, she was standing in the lobby of a grand hotel. She'd never been inside a place like this and for a moment, thought it must be an elaborate dream her stressed mind had conjured up. Surely, places like this didn't exist in the world. Marble, bright lights, gold and crystal everywhere.

Her driver ushered her up to the front desk, and before long, she was holding a keycard to her husband's suite. A bellboy took her luggage on a trolley, told her he would deliver it soon, and showed her to a large bank of elevators.

"Floor 49," he said with a smile, swiping her keycard into a slot and pressing the button before handing it back.

She stepped inside the lift and watched the doors close, stumbling when it started moving. Her heart beat out a staccato rhythm as the numbers climbed toward 49. She clutched at her _dupatta_ and tried to control her breathing.

The movement stopped with a loud ding. The doors opened to darkness.

She knew immediately that the room was empty and a piercing sadness filled her heart, as cold and dark as her surroundings.


	5. Chapter 5: Arnav

**Chapter 5: Arnav**

Loving Khushi felt like a betrayal of both his sister and his mother. Arnav's conflicting feelings almost drove him to madness, and things were never as complicated as they were now, with him facing the choice of taking Khushi at her word or never trusting her again.

The lead-up to Aakash and Payal's wedding had been one magical moment after another. His cousin and hers, bound together forever. He would never forget the precious time he'd spent with Khushi, even though what he'd witnessed on the terrace tainted his memories. He couldn't escape the feeling that those days had been momentous for both of them, even as his mind screamed that Khushi had only been pretending to distract him from the terrible truth.

That she'd _always_ been pretending.

He hadn't imagined his attraction to her, nor his concern for her. He'd stopped breathing when he thought she was in that ambulance, his heart had only restarted when he heard her arguing with a vendor. His relief at finding her unharmed had quickly morphed into anger, and everything had gotten mixed up inside his head.

Instead of asking her if she was alright, he'd yelled at her for forgetting her phone, even admitting that he'd thought he'd lost her. "What if I lost you damn it!" he'd shouted at her, before she'd unfrozen from shock and yelled right back. Their heated exchange had only ended when, in admitting that he cared about what happened to her, he'd almost blurted out the truth he'd tried so hard to avoid – that he was falling in love with her. That he'd _fallen_ in love with her.

Although he refused to admit it afterwards, he also remembered every moment of Holi. He remembered how beautiful she'd looked, how they'd danced together, how she'd asked him why her heart reacts to him the way it does. Her questions and tenderness had brought tears to his eyes, and he'd been compelled to answer truthfully – that his heart also beat faster around her, and that maybe their heartbeats had become one.

Her words at the airport had astounded him. Her desperate admission that proving herself innocent only seemed important because it was him, and that if he left thinking she was guilty then she might ... stop ... breathing.

An echo of his sister's words, that one day he'd meet a woman he couldn't live without, couldn't breathe without.

He'd waited months for her to admit that she cared, for her to admit that he mattered, and it'd felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke on him that she chose that moment to tell him.

She'd claimed she would stop breathing, but since he'd stepped away from her, he felt like his soul had been ripped from him.


	6. Chapter 6: Khushi

**Chapter 6: Khushi**

Khushi slowly made her way into the suite, feeling along the wall until she found the light switch. She pressed the buttons and the darkness around her slowly transformed into a beautiful room, all gold, red, and blue.

The elevator doors opened into an entrance hall, at the end of which lay a large lounge area complete with theatre system. Doors from the lounge lead off into two bedrooms, one on the left and one on the right, and a glass wall separated the lounge from the balcony.

Khushi walked unhurriedly, drinking in every hint of his presence in the room. His shoes were placed neatly along a wall, his files were on a small table with his phone on top of them. His laptop sat charging on the dining table, its light blinking steadily.

She touched everything lightly, tears running unchecked, and finally entered the bedroom he'd chosen to sleep in. Khushi ran her fingers over the suit that hung in the closet and smiled at the bottle of cologne sitting on the vanity in the bathroom.

She somehow felt more alone here, in his hotel room in London, than she had in their bedroom.

She froze when the elevator dinged, struggling to think of what to say to Arnav-ji when she saw him, only to realize it was the bellboy when she heard him call out a cheery hello. She reached the entrance hall just as he finished unloading her things.

"Thank you," she said, suddenly conscious of her accent.

"Pleasure, ma'am," he smiled, tipping his head, "Have a good night, now."

Khushi smiled at him as the elevator doors closed, and then started to move her luggage into the bedroom. A flash of Arnav-ji's face as he had told her she had no character stopped her. She stood undecided in the lounge room, running possible scenarios through her head, before placing her things in a hidden corner of the suite. She would let him decide where she stayed – _if she stayed_ – when he returned.

That decision made, she turned her thoughts to her immediate needs. She was hungry. Nani and Di had packed her some food, so she took that, warmed it up, and ate it sitting on the sofa. She didn't like the English TV, but a few minutes of changing channels revealed that she could watch Hindi channels here as well. She decided to catch up on the serials she'd been missing while she waited.

As each hour passed Khushi became increasingly anxious. Her scant supply of her favourite sweet, _jalebi,_ had disappeared all too quickly. Where was Arnav-ji? Why hadn't he returned? Did he know she was here, and was he avoiding her?

Finally, Khushi couldn't fight back sleep any longer. She thought of going to the second bedroom but her traitorous feet took her to the one her husband had already claimed. She took his suit's jacket from the closet and wore it over her clothes, reveling in being at least this close to him, and climbed into the bed.

Enveloped by his familiar scent, she sat against the bedhead and brought her knees up, resting her head against her arms. She would just close her eyes for a few minutes, she promised herself.


	7. Chapter 7: Arnav

**Chapter 7: Arnav**

Arnav returned to the hotel after 2am. He'd been unable to finish his drink, and unable to banish Khushi from his mind. The elevator doors opened and he stepped into his suite, leaving the keycard on a small side-table before sinking into one of the couches.

He sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and looked around for his phone.

 _I should read the messages, at least. Di would be worried._

He realized belatedly that he'd turned all the lights off but had returned to find most of them lit. He started seeing other things: he was sure he hadn't left his phone charging on the side-table, and there were new dirty dishes waiting to be collected.

 _Khushi?_

His heart surged at the thought that she might be here, in this room, before he stamped out his happiness.

 _How could she be here?_

Arnav walked to the spare bedroom and carefully opened the door. The room was empty, as untouched as he had left it. He sighed, disappointment mingling with his grief, and buried his brief elation that Khushi might be in London behind all his other emotions.

 _Goddamnit. When will I stop thinking about her?_

He hadn't been thinking clearly since he left Delhi. Since he left Khushi. He must have forgotten about the phone and the dishes. Arnav made his way to the bedroom.

He cast off his jacket, loosened then discarded his tie, and flung away his shoes, frustration making his movements rough. He changed in the darkness, unwilling to confront himself in the mirrors, and threw himself onto the bed. He fell into an exhausted sleep almost immediately.

Arnav dreamt that Khushi was with him, her arm and leg flung over his body in her trademarked Taekwondo pose. He slipped his arms around her and crushed her closer.


	8. Chapter 8: Khushi

**Chapter 8: Khushi**

Khushi dreamt that she was near her Arnav-ji; that he'd returned to her at last. She rolled towards him and flung an arm over his chest, hoping to keep him close to her lest he disappear in the morning.


	9. Chapter 9: Arnav

**Chapter 9: Arnav**

Arnav awoke to sunlight shining directly into his eyes – he'd forgotten to close the curtains last night. He felt warm and secure, at peace for the first time since he'd saved Khushi from killing herself, since the truth behind their marriage had come out.

Arnav came to consciousness slowly, and then all at once when he realized he was wrapped around someone else. He panicked, irrationally thinking he'd brought someone back with him last night, and froze when hazy memories of seeing his phone, the dirty dishes, and the empty bedroom came to mind.

 _Khushi?_

His wife was in his bed, one hand clutching his shirt and a leg thrown over him in a possessive hold, as if she would never let go. Her head rested on his shoulder, and Arnav caressed her hair as he rejoiced in her presence. It'd been so long since they'd woken up in the same bed.

 _"What you're calling a deceit is actually my love for Khushi-ji, which now runs through my veins."_

Arnav's hand froze as Shyam's words echoed in his ears. He shut his eyes, hoping to shut out the pain, but the wound was too deep. Nausea roiled through him as he realised what he was doing.

 _I'm a failure. A failure of a brother and a failure of a son. I can't even hate her, this woman who threatens my sister. Who betrayed me, and everyone I care about._

He held her wrist, intending to fling it away and untangle himself from her, but stopped at the soft noise of protest she let out.

"Arnav-ji," she mumbled, a smile gracing her lips.

He knew Khushi dreamt of him. He'd spent every night at Bua-ji's house listening as she took his name again and again. She'd never taken Shyam's. The small part of him that insisted she was innocent awoke, screaming at him to reconsider.

 _She dreams of you, Arnav. Surely that means something, that she dreams of you, that she whispers your name. Her heartbeats are one with yours. YOU told her that. Listen to them._

Arnav felt his resistance crumbling. She looked so vulnerable.

She looked at peace.

He'd missed her so much.

 _What is she doing here? Did she travel alone? Why didn't anyone tell me?_

Every second without her had been agony. And now, with her safe in his arms, he started to acknowledge the truth he'd been running from. Everything paled in comparison to how he felt. If she returned his feelings, if she felt even a fraction of what he did, he was unwilling to let her go.

They could work through it together. They could overcome everything.

He could forgive her anything.


	10. Chapter 10: Khushi

**Chapter 10: Khushi**

Khushi lay half asleep, still reveling in last night's dream where she'd flown to London to meet Arnav-ji and he'd held her while she slept. She knew she had to get up and start her day soon but she couldn't face another day of being tormented by her memories of her husband.

Of being tormented by that disgusting Shyam, who was taking advantage of her husband's absence in the most obscene ways possible.

She clutched at the sheets, pretending they were Arnav-ji's shirt. Khushi wished he would return soon, if only so Shyam would stop harassing her. Shyam wouldn't dare come near her if Arnav-ji was here.

Her imagination, she decided, excelled at conjuring up the sleeping form of her husband beside her. She could almost feel him breathing, almost hear his heartbeat quicken as she moved her hands.

She remembered the first time they'd shared a bed together - at her Bua-ji's house - when they'd woken to her hand clutching at the neckline of his shirt. She didn't think she'd ever forget how Arnav-ji's breathing had stalled, how loud and fast his heart had been beating. Every morning that week, they'd woken to one of them holding tight to the other. They hadn't spoken of it and continued with their day as if it wasn't happening, trying to ignore that they were wrapped in each other every night.

Now she felt that closeness again and wished with all her might that she could go back to those days at Bua-ji's house, before their argument over her and Shyam's past, before he'd left her at the airport.

The airport.

The sudden realization felt like cold water had been thrown over her. It hadn't been a dream. She'd travelled to London to meet Arnav-ji and now she was in his hotel room.

She'd fallen asleep in his bed.


	11. Chapter 11: Arnav

**Chapter 11: Arnav**

Khushi was running her hand over his chest, clearly unaware of the havoc she was creating within him. In fact, Arnav wasn't sure she was awake.

She stilled suddenly and her breathing, which had been slow and relaxed, hitched and gasped. He had barely a second's warning – a sudden tension in her body – before she launched herself up to sit on the bed and covered her eyes. Immediately, Arnav recalled the time he'd found Khushi hiding in his closet.

"What the -"

Khushi was crazy. Infuriatingly cute.

He sat up and waited her out. She slowly peeked from behind her fingers, and seeing him, squeaked in horror before scrambling off the bed. He couldn't stop a smile as he ran after her, his longer legs letting him to reach the door first. He slammed it shut as she squeaked again, standing with her back to it and allowing him to trap her there with his body.

Arnav couldn't deny that his wife was gorgeous. She was breathtakingly beautiful, even a few minutes after waking up; radiant despite her mussed hair and cheeks tinged red with embarrassment. Khushi studied his shoulder, refusing to make eye contact. He ran his eyes down her form, noticing for the first time that she was wearing his jacket over her clothes.

A few days after their wedding Arnav had caught her wearing his white shirt while she sewed together a blouse she'd somehow ripped. He'd never seen Khushi look sexier, but now he had a new memory to plague him on sleepless nights.

With these thoughts tumbling in his mind, and still reeling from the reality of her standing in front of him, Arnav couldn't stop himself from caressing her cheek.

She was real.

This wasn't a dream.

"What are you doing here, baby?" he whispered.

Khushi gazed up at him, wide-eyed and seemingly lost for words. He realized that he'd never spoken to her like that, not out aloud. She couldn't know that, in the privacy of his thoughts, he _always_ spoke to her like this.

She was innocence. She was temptation. Arnav traced his fingers across her cheek and along her jaw, watching as her eyes fluttered shut. She didn't object, her permission clear in the tightening of her fingers on his shirt.

 _Love is destruction_ , his mind reminded him.

In her hands, even destruction seemed sweet.

A moth to a flame, he closed the distance between them, waiting until she slipped her hands around him before gathering her up in a tight embrace.

"Arnav-ji," she whispered, and he was lost.


	12. Chapter 12: Khushi

**Chapter 12: Khushi**

 _He was here._ He was here and he was with her and he was so, so close.

Khushi burst into tears, overwhelmed by his presence after being worried about him for days on end.

"I ... you left ..." she clutched at Arnav-ji, trying to hold him closer, "and I missed ... you left me."

"Ssshhhh, Khushi. It's alright."

"No," she sobbed into him, "you ... l-l-left me and I begged. I begged and you left. How ... how c-could you leave?"

"I'm right here, Khushi. Please stop crying. I'm right here."

"Your phone. Di left you messages. But you didn't ... and I was ..."

"I'm fine," he rubbed her back in soothing circles, "Nothing happened to me."

Khushi looked up, searching his eyes. He looked tired. The darkness smudged under his eyes and creases around his mouth told her that he hadn't been sleeping well. The sorrow that had been his constant companion since the night of their wedding was still there. He still looked haunted, plagued by the truth he thought he knew.

 _How did we get here? So little trust, but so much love?_

The love was still there, shining as brightly now as it had on Holi, as it had on stage when he'd become Ranjha to her Heer.* But Khushi had seen her husband struggle, had seen him lose the war inside his heart, had seen that love disappear, to be replaced by hurt and anger and malice.

She'd seen him transform from Rajkumar to Shaitaan. From her fairytale prince to a demon.

Now, he held her tightly as she cried noisily against him, twisting her hands into his shirt and vowing to never let him go again.

Even if he pushed her away.

* * *

* Romeo to her Juliet, kind of.


	13. Chapter 13: Arnav

**Chapter 13: Arnav**

When she calmed, Arnav carried Khushi to the bed and settled her against the headboard. He leaned away, intending to get her an extra blanket, but she tightened her fingers on his shirt.

"Khushi ..." he whispered, trying to loosen her hold.

Her fingers slipped on his shirt and caught his sleeve as he rose. He stilled at the gentle pressure. When he turned, Khushi was shedding silent tears, looking as vulnerable and tortured as she had at Delhi Airport.

"I'm just getting you a blanket," Arnav spoke around the constriction in his throat, "I'll be right back."

She shook her head, trailing her fingers down his arm to trap his hand tightly between both of hers. Her eyes begged him to stay.

"Okay," he slid in next to her, "okay. I won't go anywhere."

Khushi rested her head on his shoulder after giving him a wan smile that broke his heart. Arnav leaned back and closed his eyes. His heart wrenched as he imagined Khushi, alone in their room and crying bitter tears over the abuse he'd hurled at her over the past few months.

It was easier to talk to her when he couldn't see her pain.

"Did you come alone?"

"Y-yes. But ... but Arnav-ji, it wasn't my idea," her pulse raced under his fingers, "Nani and Di, they ... they insisted."

He frowned. "Why?"

"I missed ..." her voice was barely a whisper, "I'll go back tomorrow. I just ... I know you don't want me here."

"No, no, Khushi," Arnav held her hand tightly, "Stay."

He opened his eyes as Khushi lifted her head to look at him.

"Stay," he repeated.

She nodded and hugged his arm tightly.

"You came such a long way alone. Were you scared, Khushi?"

"Yes" she said, not meeting his eyes, "but I was more afraid of not seeing you."

He held her, and when holding her wasn't enough, leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Stay with me, Khushi."

She shivered against him, so he shifted them both until they lay next to each other. Khushi tried to steal his warmth, slipping closer and closer, so Arnav slid his arms around her and crushed her against himself.

The silence was broken by the growl of her stomach. Arnav smiled as Khushi started to get up, a blush already forming on her cheeks. He held her in place.

"Stay."

He tried to return the small smile she gave him. He let her run her fingers through his hair and over his face. She traced his eyelids, his cheeks, his lips, and he wished she would follow with her lips.


	14. Chapter 14: Khushi

**Chapter 14: Khushi**

She felt oddly detached from everything, as if she was watching another Khushi run a light finger over Arnav-ji's eyelids. A happier Khushi; a Khushi who hadn't been shattered by the sight of her husband leaving her, proving once and for all that he would never trust her again. If he ever had in the first place.

Arnav-ji trembled at her light caress, reminding her of when she'd foolishly applied a _tikka_ to him by holding his face and resting her forehead against his. It'd been a silly attempt at reigniting the feelings they'd had before marriage, a naive girl's hope at rekindling what they'd lost. Only he was able to provoke that response from her, a hot-cold feeling that left her breathless and her heart pounding, but Khushi now knew it wasn't enough.

She didn't know why he was allowing her this closeness. They'd shared a bed at Bua-ji's but he'd slept on the sofa in Shantivan, determined to increase the distance between them. She felt she deserved it. She'd hidden too many truths from him, told him too many lies.

 _But ... how could you think that I wanted to be with Shyam?_ she asked him silently, _Couldn't you see that my heart beats only for you? That my eyes are always searching for you, that my fingers are always itching to touch you, that my every breath ... It's always, always been you._

She closed her eyes, willing her tears away, and concentrated instead on the feeling of his warm hands at her waist. He'd asked her to stay, and she'd vowed to never leave him. For now, they both wanted the same thing. When her fingers danced over his cheek and rested lightly against his lips, Arnav-ji tightened his hold on her.

The first time Khushi had kissed her husband, it'd mostly been an accident. By the time she'd realised what she was doing, it'd been too late to stop. Afterwards, she'd been both mortified that she'd kissed him in front of Di, Nani, and Mami, and ecstatic that she'd met his challenge.

Now, they were isolated. An entire plane ride away from their families. The warmth that shone in his eyes gave her the courage to lean down and kiss his cheek, and his sharp intake of breath was reward enough.


	15. Chapter 15: Arnav

**Chapter 15: Arnav**

Arnav's fingers traced idle patterns on Khushi's waist as she leaned over him. He kept absolutely still as she kissed his cheek and smiled reassuringly as she blushed. When he raised his hand to brush her fringe from her face, she leaned into his touch and sighed. He pulled her down gently until her head rested on his chest and ran his fingers over her plait. He ached to unbraid it and tangle his fingers into its silky softness but resisted, settling instead for the feel of her as she snuggled into him.

"Arnav-ji?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Di told me ... told me about your ... m-mother's birthday," Khushi trembled against him, "I just wanted to say ..."

The rest of her words blurred as he remembered.

 _"What are you going to do? Are you going to destroy me? Even then, you won't be able to negate the love between Khushi-ji and myself."_

Khushi let go of him as he swore. Arnav closed his eyes, breathing hard and trying to banish Shyam's words. His empty hands clenched into fists as he reined it all in, rejecting the full colour movie playing against his eyelids. Khushi in Shyam's embrace on the terrace, asking him to leave Di. His mother's scream. A gunshot.

 _Shut up. Khushi wasn't ... Khushi would never ... Shut up shut up shut up._

Long minutes later, Arnav sat up and glanced at his wife as she fiddled with the edge of her _kameez_. His hands shook with the need to hit something. To destroy something and give voice to the pain burning through him. Khushi didn't deserve this.

 _How do we even begin to heal?_

When he reached for her, Khushi slid to the other side of the bed, refusing to make eye contact.

"We should head down for breakfast," he said softly.

She nodded, still staring blankly at her hands, and then eased off the bed. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, Khushi ran her hands over his jacket before throwing him a guilty look.

"My clothes suit you," Arnav tried to smile, "Were you cold last night?"

"No," she shook her head, "I just ... I wanted to feel c-close to y-y-you."

In no time at all, he was across the room and breathing in the sandalwood-jasmine scent of her as he held her tight.

"Spend the day with me," he murmured into her hair, "Everything else can wait, we can discuss it later."

He helped her out of the jacket as she nodded, but held her back when she turned to leave. Arnav leaned towards her slowly, holding her head to keep her still, and kissed her cheek.

"I missed you."

Her blush flared as she hurried from the room.


	16. Chapter 16: Khushi

**Chapter 16: Khushi**

Khushi stood under the spray of warm water in the second bathroom as she gathered her thoughts. She touched her cheek. It still felt hot, as if he'd branded her with his kiss.

 _What's happening between us?_

They hadn't talked, hadn't breathed a word about Shyam or their wedding, or the months of lies and anger. But Arnav-ji had asked her to stay with him and it was enough for now. She stepped out and shimmied into loose jeans and a long tunic dress, the closest approximation to a _salwaar_ suit she'd been able to find when shopping for the trip with Di. Khushi clipped her hair out of the way and applied some light makeup before reaching for her _sindoor*_. Her hand trembled as she used the applicator to draw a line of red through the part of her hair, thinking of the man who'd put it there in the first place.

 _Why did you think he'd talk to you, Khushi? All you did was hurt him again._

She shouldn't have mentioned his mother. Arnav-ji didn't talk to anyone about her, not even his own sister.

 _But then ... why did he kiss me if he was angry?_

Maybe they weren't beyond saving after all. Maybe it wasn't too late, and he could still trust her. Maybe they could start again. She decided to make the best of the time she had with him. She'd come to see him, after all, and he wanted her to stay.

Khushi was trying to figure out the kettle in the kitchenette when Arnav-ji came out of his bedroom, dressed casually in dark jeans, a shirt, and a sweater. Her favourite sweater, she noticed, the black one, and one of her favourite grey shirts. He stopped at the door to look at her, his eyes sweeping along the length of her body, and she felt his gaze like a physical touch, tracing fire where it roamed. He approached slowly, his eyes locked on hers, and his every step caused her pulse to stutter and scattered her thoughts.

"We're going to buy you more clothes like these," his voice, low and rough, sent shivers down her spine.

When he was close enough, Arnav-ji reached behind and slid the clip from her hair, watching as it cascaded down her back. Khushi shivered as he ran his fingers through it, recalling their clandestine meeting after Jiji's Sangeet.

"Now it's okay," he smiled, and she realised he was also thinking of that moment, "Are you ready?"

Arnav-ji took her hand as she nodded and led her into the elevator. It'd seemed huge when she'd ridden in it last night but now it felt too small with her husband gripping her waist possessively and his eyes holding hers in the reflection in front of them. He winked at her, and smiled as she blushed.

* * *

* _vermilion_ ; marks a Hindu woman as being married.


	17. Chapter 17: Arnav

**Chapter 17: Arnav**

They were seated next to a window that looked out onto London's busy streets. Khushi looked around in wonder, gasping at the chandeliers that hung above them and the rich wooden panelling that decorated the walls. Her eyes brightened when she spied the tables laden with food, and Arnav smiled as he explained that she could get anything she wanted. He watched as she skipped to the buffet area, returning with a plate of buttered toast and an orange juice that she placed in front of him.

"What about you?" he asked, touched by her insistence on taking care of him first.

"I'll eat once you have everything you need, _Swami_ ," mischief glinted in her eyes.

He allowed himself a quick grin before urging her to get some food for herself, and she returned with some toast and a cup of tea. Khushi enthusiastically dug into her food as she sat down, chattering about his family and telling him what they'd been up to in his absence.

"... and then Mami's brother came to visit. Arnav-ji have you met him? He's so forgetful, and they call him Masala-Mama! And Arnav-ji, you won't believe where Babli hid herself ..."

She didn't mention Shyam, but during some of her stories he noticed her eyes darken with fear and anger. His rage was only eclipsed by the guilt that he'd left her to deal with everything alone.

"Khushi," Arnav began when there was a lull in her stories, "didn't you get the text message I sent you?"

She stopped eating. "I did."

"Then why were you worried? You knew I was fine."

"No. Di called and you never answered. You didn't answer my calls either. Di left you messages. I started to worry when you didn't return the calls. And ... and I didn't understand why you sent me a message when you were ... you were so angry with me."

"I knew you'd be worried," he confessed, staring at his empty plate, "I knew you'd be awake."

Khushi reached over and placed her hand over his, chasing away his guilt and replacing it with warmth. He sat back and waited for her to finish eating before asking how she'd prefer to spend her day. Khushi gaped at him.

"Don't you have work today?" she asked, "Di said you were busy with a conference. I thought I'd watch TV in the room."

"The meeting was yesterday and I've postponed my trip to the new AR offices to tomorrow. Today I'm all yours."

Her eyes widened at his words and her blush returned. She opened her mouth a few times but closed it without saying anything. Arnav couldn't stop a smile – he rarely got to see Khushi speechless – as he helped her out.

"Come on, I'll show you around."


	18. Chapter 18: Khushi

**Chapter 18: Khushi**

Khushi pinched herself for the third time this morning. She couldn't believe that the man beside her was her husband. Arnav Singh Raizada, international multimillionaire, had spent the morning driving her around London, pointing out interesting buildings and sights. They'd parked the car and walked around, strolling hand-in-hand as Arnav-ji explained what everything was and why it was interesting. He'd taken her across a splendid bridge, to the top of the tallest tower she'd ever seen, and into a beautiful church. He'd held her hand as they rode on the world's biggest ferris wheel, and whispered reassurances to her when she'd panicked at the height.

Arnav-ji told her that London was his favourite city in the world. He loved the buzz and the rush of it, he'd explained, the mix of the old and the new. He even claimed to like the weather, but Khushi thought he was exaggerating. It was too grey for her tastes, but the streets awash with festival colours more than made up for the sombreness. The more Khushi saw of the city, the more she realised that her husband shared its pulse. They were alike in some ways - cold and harsh and forbidding from the outside, but warm and gentle and tender when you dug a little deeper.

Khushi watched him fiddle with a complicated looking camera.

"Do you like photography?" she asked, realising that they'd never spoken of their simple likes and dislikes.

"Mmm hmmm," he hummed absently as he swapped one part out for another, identical, part, "I took those photos hanging in our room."

Khushi grinned, delighted with the unexpected discovery, but more pleased with his choice of words. _Our room_. She thought he looked incredibly handsome, frowning in concentration as he carefully lined up shots. Arnav-ji took photos of her in front of every building, statue, and street sign, and after much pestering and pouting (on her part), and sighing (on his), even posed for a few with her.

They ate lunch at an Indian restaurant - Khushi was glad to see some familiar food - and he bought her _jalebi_ when she wasn't paying attention. When she shivered from the cold, he placed his jacket around her shoulders while pressing a light kiss to her hair. She was touched by how attentive and protective he'd been all day.

They returned to their hotel in the early afternoon, where Arnav-ji stepped away to make phone calls and work on his laptop. Khushi passed the time by unpacking her things, but when she tried to claim the second bedroom, he forcibly took her things into the bedroom he was staying in. She gave in, hanging her clothes next to his in the wardrobe, and then watched some TV.

She fell asleep on the couch, tired from her flight, the emotional morning, and the hectic day. Khushi woke to a darkened room, lit only by the flicker of the TV and the evening twilight outside. Arnav-ji was asleep with his head on her shoulder, one hand clasped in hers. Her heart surged with emotion as she reached up to sweep his errant fringe from his face. The soft touch woke him, and he mumbled her name as his eyes struggled to focus on her. Khushi remembered the morning at Bua-ji's house when she'd woken up to find that he'd slept holding her hand.

She hoped it meant something, him waking up with her name on his lips. She hoped it meant that he felt for her what she felt for him.


	19. Chapter 19: Arnav

**Chapter 19: Arnav**

He would never tire of waking up next to her. If he could have one thing for the rest of his life, he mused, it would be that he always opened his eyes to see Khushi Kumari Gupta ... _Singh Raizada_. Sleep lent an air of vulnerability to Khushi that made Arnav want to protect her, to keep her away from everyone and everything that could hurt her. He was very much aware, however, that he was the cause of most of the pain in her life.

 _Life is one cruel irony after another._

The night of their disastrous Bali-in-Delhi honeymoon came to mind, where they'd been forced to share the sofa after burning the bed and throwing water on it. They'd started on opposite ends of the sofa but he'd spent most of the night ensuring she was comfortable, slipping closer and closer to her. It'd been the first time they'd woken up together, his head on her shoulder and her _mangalsutra_ caught on his shirt.

He looked at Khushi, drinking her in, and she seemed to be doing the same with him. Their hands were still clasped. Arnav watched his wife as she gazed at him, her eyes flicking all over his face and returning, again and again, to his mouth. Desire flared through him, quick and bright, shredding through the iron control he'd been exercising all day. He'd kept himself safe, only allowing himself a few caresses and one chaste kiss to her hair, but now, he needed to be closer.

He wanted anything she would give him.

Arnav ran a light finger over her cheek, watching her eyes close at the sensation as her breath shortened. She leaned into his touch, unconsciously encouraging him, and he slid his fingers under her ear and into her hair, cupping her jaw. Khushi sighed as he allowed his thumb to trace her cheekbone.

"Khushi," he whispered, "do you still think you can do anything I challenge you to?"

She nodded, her eyes open and as wide as saucers.

"Okay," he continued, "then try to keep up."

Arnav leaned in and kissed her left cheek, quirking an eyebrow at her to let her know it was her turn. She returned his kiss shyly, leaning in to press her lips against his stubbled cheek. He kissed her other cheek, and she mimicked him. Her confidence grew as he pressed kisses to her forehead, her eyelids, her jaw, her chin, and she matched him step for step.

He buried his face in her shoulder, taking a moment to breathe her in before lightly kissing the hollow in her neck where her pulse raced. He leaned back, waiting to see how Khushi would react.


	20. Chapter 20: Khushi

**Chapter 20: Khushi**

Khushi had tried to be brave, had tried to meet his every challenge despite the frantic beating of her heart and the sudden lack of air in her lungs. Arnav-ji was so close that she could feel the heat of him, warming her in turn, or perhaps that was the chaotic response of her own body to his. His every gentle caress sent electricity coursing through her, and every press of his lips against her skin ignited something in her. She trembled.

The heat that flooded through Khushi when he pressed his lips against her neck threatened to overwhelm her. It felt just like when he'd kissed her cheek by the poolside, challenging her to do the same. The same rush of heat mingled with a dizzying weakness, the same pleasure in his acknowledgement of his attraction to her, the same fear of unfamiliar territory and his expectations for what came next.

Khushi had been attracted to Arnav-ji long before she'd accepted that she loved him. His physical presence had always overwhelmed her, her heart acting crazily when he was around and her breath stalling when he was close. She'd dreamt of him, innocent dreams of a girl who couldn't recognize the first stirrings of desire within her. She'd imagined being closer to him since Diwali, since he'd ignited that desire by leaning in to kiss her. She'd woken from dreams where they hadn't been interrupted by a phone call.

Her dreams hadn't prepared her for this, for him to be so close to her that they breathed the same air, watching her intently to see if she would meet his challenge. It crossed her mind to tell him that this was too much for her, but nothing came out when she opened her mouth.

She realized she wanted to try. For him, for herself, for whatever this was between them.

Khushi leaned forward, catching her husband's fleeting look of pride and happiness. She first hugged him, imagining he was lending her the strength and courage she needed, before turning and placing the lightest and swiftest of kisses on his neck. Arnav-ji held her in a warm embrace, his arms tightening around her as he murmured something in English that she couldn't hear. He ran a hand through her hair before tracing patterns on her back, causing her to shiver against him. Khushi buried her face in the crook of his neck and breathed him in, relishing the ocean-bergamot scent of him. The diluted fragrance he'd left on his pillow didn't do justice to the real thing.


	21. Chapter 21: Arnav

**Chapter 21: Arnav**

 _My girl's brave, there's no denying that._

Arnav sat back on the couch with Khushi snuggling into his side. He traced patterns on her arm as he wondered how far they could push this, how far she was willing to go, and when he wouldn't be able to stop any more. With a jolt, he realized that Khushi wouldn't stop him. She'd _never_ stopped him, never shied away from his physical advances. In fact, her trust in him on Diwali had floored him: she'd been willing to let him kiss her, knowing he was involved with Lavanya, knowing his stance on marriage. Even then, she'd trusted him not to use and discard her.

 _And I destroyed that trust in return._

With this realization came a resolve to never push Khushi beyond what she was ready for. Her trust in him deserved respect, and he wasn't going to let her down.

Never again.

Arnav looked down at Khushi, who was still wrapped around him, and marvelled at the depths of her kindness. She'd forgiven him for that. Maybe, with time, she could forgive him for their wedding and everything that had happened since.

Arnav got up, pulling Khushi with him, and led her over to the balcony. The evening lights were stunning and she stood transfixed, slipping her hands around him and resting her head on his shoulder as she looked out. He wanted to stop time and preserve this moment forever.

 _We need to talk,_ he reminded himself, _we need to talk about Shyam and the wedding._

"Arnav-ji, it's so lovely," Khushi interrupted his thoughts, "Thank you for showing me around today."

"Do you want to come with me tomorrow? You can see the new offices and then we can have lunch."

"Arnav-ji, that's your work. I don't want to get in the way."

"You wouldn't be in the way, Khushi," he tried to reassure her, "I'd like if it you came."

"Okay."

There was a long moment of silence, in which Arnav rejected idea after idea of how to begin the conversation they needed to have. His heart recoiled at the thought of causing her more pain.

 _Maybe it can wait. Mentioning it now will only taint her memories of today._

"Are you hungry?" he asked, wanting to stay in this bubble of happiness they'd created for a few more hours.

Her eyes lit up at the mention of food, and he chuckled.

"Let's go then."


	22. Chapter 22: Khushi

**Chapter 22: Khushi**

Khushi decided that she needed to learn more English. Firstly, this trip would be much easier if the was fluent like Arnav-ji. Secondly, she thought that her husband would love it if she could have a conversation with him in English.

Determined to start learning immediately, she peppered him with questions throughout their meal. Amused, he indulged her every request and smiled at her comments as she tried to impress him. After dinner, he took her for ice cream, which she ate while strolling back to their hotel room, feeling slightly guilty that he couldn't have any. Again, Khushi was struck by a strange disbelief that this was the same man she'd married. He was so attentive and loving, back to the Arnav-ji she'd spent time with in the lead up to Jiji and Jija's wedding.

Back in their hotel room, she left Arnav-ji working on his laptop and changed into warmer, more comfortable clothes. When she returned, he was on the phone with their family. It sounded like everyone was berating him for not getting in touch sooner. Khushi raised her eyebrows at him - she'd told him to call as soon as he could - and he smiled at her before turning his attention back to the phone.

She walked back towards the bedroom, intending to give him some privacy, but he stopped her.

"Khushi," he said, "Di wants to talk to you."

She took the phone from him, her fingers brushing against his and sending a delicious warmth zipping throughout her body.

"H-hello. Di, h-how are you?" she stammered, his intense stare holding her attention.

"Khushi-ji, forget about me, I'm absolutely fine. How are you? You haven't been in contact since telling us you had landed. How are you and Chotte*?"

Arnav-ji took her free hand and started making slow circles on her palm with his thumb. All of her thoughts flew away. He smiled crookedly and pointed at the phone, reminding her that she should respond.

"We're good D-Di. London is b-beautiful and I'm enjoying myself. Th-Thank you for arranging this."

"And Chotte? Do you feel better now that you're with him?" Di's tone became decidedly cheeky.

"Yes. Yes Di. A-Arnav-ji ..." Khushi's thoughts abandoned her again as her husband ran his fingers over her wrist, his gentle caress creating havoc as he worked his way up to her elbow.

"Khushi-ji?"

"Di! Sorry, I'm here. I just ... what ... what were you asking?"

"Chotte. Is Chotte being nice to you?"

"Yes Di, he's being very nice. He took me sight ... sightseeing today."

Arnav-ji's fingers reached her elbow and started their journey back down to her hand. Khushi struggled to breathe.

"He cancelled his meetings?" Di asked with surprise.

"Yes, he said he could work tomorrow. He ... he spent the day with me."

Arnav-ji flashed a wicked smile at her and raised her hand to his lips. Khushi closed her eyes as he planted a soft kiss on her palm. She was slowly unraveling.

"Wow! I never thought I'd hear that Chotte took time off to relax. You're a good influence on him. Nani and I are very happy we were able to send you to London."

"Y-yes. I'm enjoying Arnav-ji's hand." ( _haath_ = hand)

"Chotte's hand?" came Di's confused reply.

Arnav-ji started laughing, and it took Khushi a few seconds to realize what she'd said.

"No, not Arnav-ji's hand, I meant ... I meant his company." ( _saath_ = company)

Khushi's breath came in rapid gasps as she tried to correct her mistake, "And Lakshmi-ji's conversation. I miss talking to Lakshmi-ji."

Her flustered reply seemed to amuse her husband even further, and he released her hand as he shook with silent laughter. Khushi let the phone slip from her hand, caught off guard by the sight of Arnav-ji doubled over and holding a chair for support. Her husband didn't laugh often, but she fell in love with him a little more each time he did.

She was too distracted by him to realize that she hadn't said goodbye to Di. He rescued the phone from the floor.

"Khushi's just being her clumsy self," he explained to Di while winking at her, still grinning, "Everything's fine."

* * *

* _Little Guy_ ; Arnav's much-detested pet-name at home. He's six feet tall.


	23. Chapter 23: Arnav

**Chapter 23: Arnav**

Khushi looked a little angry at his antics, so Arnav quickly ended the phone call to Delhi and gave her his full attention. He grinned as she scowled at him, somehow managing to look even more tempting in frustration.

"Just what were you doing when I was on the phone?" she demanded.

"Nothing, I wasn't doing anything."

"Why did you have to hold my hand like that? I was trying talk to Di!"

"I was holding your hand, Khushi, I wasn't stopping you from talking on the phone."

"Yes you were, because when you were holding my hand I couldn't ..." she abruptly cut herself off, refusing to admit defeat.

He stepped closer to her, rewarded by the catch in her breathing. He would never get tired of knowing how much his closeness affected her. He took her hand again, bringing it to his lips to kiss each finger lightly in turn.

"When I was holding your hand ... what?" he asked softly, kissing the back of her hand, "Does something happen when I do this?"

"N-no. N-nothing hap-happens."

"Oh really?"

"Y-yes. N-no. No."

"Then I can do this," he turned her hand over and placed a kiss on her palm, "Nothing?"

She shook her head, seemingly incapable of speech. He kissed her wrist and then her forearm, and she let out a whimper. He held her head still with one hand and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Still nothing?"

"No," she whispered.

She denied feeling anything when he kissed her eyelids, first one then the other, when he traced her jawline, when he kissed her cheeks, working closer and closer to her lips, but her body betrayed her. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes closed. She clutched at his shoulders to hold herself upright and he knew that she wouldn't be able to stand without his support. Her lips were parted, her breath heavy and gasping, her pulse racing beneath his fingertips at her wrist.

Arnav paused, his lips mere centimeters from hers. He ached to taste her, but the spectre of Shyam and the conversation they still needed to have stopped him. Instead, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, her eyes still closed and her hands clinging tightly to his shirt. He placed Khushi gently on the bed and kissed her forehead.

"Time for you to sleep, I think. You've had a big day. I'll come to bed after finishing some work."

She frowned at him in surprise, probably expecting him to continue, and his determination to take things slowly threatened to break.

"Baby. We have to ... I can't ..." he took a deep breath, reminding himself that there were many reasons why he couldn't crawl in beside her, even if they all escaped him right now, "Khushi ..."

She stared up at him and nodded, seeming to understand. Arnav untangled her fingers from his sweater, loving that she always held onto him tightly when he picked her up.

"Goodnight," he whispered, kissing both her hands before placing them at her sides and pulling the blanket around her.

Later, he stared blankly at his laptop, mentally rehearsing conversations with Khushi. No matter what he said, no matter how many times he apologised, the Khushi in his head left him on the morning of August 14th*.

 _Maybe it's what I deserve._

* * *

*They eloped on the 14th of February, and have a contract marriage for six months.


	24. Chapter 24: Khushi

**Chapter 24: Khushi**

"Khushi ..."

A voice called to her from the shadows.

Arnav-ji.

His voice echoed all around her, calling her name with a desperation she'd never heard before. Khushi was in an alien place, a mess of dead trees, fog, and shadows that confused her. She tried to follow Arnav-ji's voice but the sound came from all around her, everywhere at once.

"Khushi ..."

She turned and spied her payal on the floor, the same payal that Arnav-ji had returned to her on the night of Diwali.

 _What is it doing here?_

Khushi looked around for clues and spied something reflecting light a few steps to her right. A small key, she realized as she approached it. The same key she'd kept with her for months, a memento of the second time she'd met Arnav-ji, and returned when he'd announced his intent to marry Lavanya-ji.

"Khushi ... Khushi ... Khushi ..."

Panicked, she looked around frantically for any clue to her husband's whereabouts. She thought she saw a shadow of a man in front of her and ran towards him. He kept eluding her, seeming to slip away just as she came near. She chased him through fog and endless woodlands for what felt like hours, and then finally, he stopped running. Khushi approached him cautiously, suddenly afraid to see his face.

"Khushi ..."

He slowly turned towards her and her heart rejoiced when she recognized Arnav-ji's face in profile. To her horror, his features melted, morphing into Shyam's face in front of her eyes.

The world tipped, and then Shyam was cornering her at the poolside and asking her to trust him, to betray her Arnav-ji and get his signature through guile. Shyam was holding her by the poolside while Arnav-ji stood mere feet away, his fingers digging into her arms as he growled at her, calling her out on her empty threats. Shyam was forcibly holding her to him on the terrace, claiming to love her and vowing to leave Di.

Shyam held red roses as he leered at her from across the room, his hands red from the powder he'd tried to smear on her cheeks.

Shyam tried to touch her while Di sat right there, her eyes closed as she indulged in a head massage.

Shyam stood in front of her mirror, shirtless and having clearly just emerged from her shower.

Shyam stalked towards her in the total darkness of her bedroom as she sat cowering on the bed.

Khushi awoke, screaming for her husband in terror.

She felt movement on the bed and a hand touched her shoulder. Frightened beyond coherent thought, Khushi screamed once more and flung herself from the bed, heart hammering.

"Don't touch me. Don't come near me. Don't even dare," she yelled into the darkness, convinced that Shyam had dared to sleep in Arnav-ji's place on their bed.

"Khushi?"

Arnav-ji's voice, edged with concern, cut through Khushi's fear. She remembered where she was and who she was with.

The lights came on and she saw Arnav-ji approaching her slowly, hands held palm up in front of him to show he was no threat, worry casting shadows on his face.

Almost dizzy with relief, she ran to him, burying herself in his arms and sobbing as the worst of the nightmare left her. He held her tightly and stroked her hair, whispering words of comfort.


	25. Chapter 25: Arnav

**Chapter 25: Arnav**

She calmed down slowly, her breathing gradually slowing and her fear subsiding. Arnav led his wife to the bed and made her sit against the headboard. He brought her water and rubbed her back as her tears slowed. He was filled with questions and burning with rage. He wanted to know what kind of dream had reduced her to this.

He tried to keep calm, knowing she needed him - his support and comfort. He climbed into the bed next to her and gently eased her head onto his lap, stroking her hair. When her eyes finally closed, he sighed and leaned back against the headboard. He would ask her in the morning.

Arnav woke up before Khushi, taking the opportunity to watch her sleep before gently waking her. She came to consciousness slowly and spent some time staring up at him from his lap before trying to get up. He let her sit up but pulled her against him when she tried to leave. He sat her in front of him, in the V of his legs, and settled her against his chest. He held her tightly.

"Khushi, do you remember last night?" Arnav asked softly, bracing himself in case she struggled to leave his arms.

She was silent for so long he thought she wouldn't answer. Anger at being ignored started to brew inside him.

"Yes," her voice came, quiet and afraid, and his anger flew apart.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

The strands of his ever-present rage gathered again. He'd never been able to handle defiance, especially not from the beautiful and brave woman in his arms.

"I'm afraid. It will hurt you," she continued softly, cutting through his anger again and leaving him raw.

 _Her nightmare would hurt me?_

"Nothing will hurt me more than waking up to you afraid of my touch, Khushi. I want to know what made you so afraid."

Khushi took a deep breath and nestled closer to him, shivering in his arms, so Arnav pulled the blanket over her and tried to warm her up. She looked blankly at the wall in front of them and started speaking in a halting voice, so soft that he had to lean in to hear.

"I met Shyam in Lucknow, after I met you at Sheesh Mahal. Strange men were harassing me on the street, asking me to fall into their arms after seeing the footage. Shyam stood up for me. He said he lived in Delhi and gave me a business card. Then Amma and Babu-ji sent us to Delhi so I couldn't shame them further."

Shyam. She'd dreamt about Shyam and it'd scared her so much that she hadn't been able to recognise him.

"When we came to Delhi Bua-ji became very sick," she continued, "She needed medicine, I was trying to get it for her. That was the day I damaged your car. Then I needed to pay you back, so I called Shyam and asked him to arrange for a job. I started working for you, and Shyam convinced Bua-ji to take him on as a paying guest at her home. He lived with us for weeks."

Arnav wasn't sure he could listen to more. He knew how this story ended. He needed to get on a plane, march into Shantivan and kill Shyam with his bare hands. Khushi, seemingly oblivious, continued her story. Now that she'd started, Arnav sensed that she needed to finish, or she might never be able to talk about these things again. He gripped the bed sheets, tearing them, and tried to sit still for Khushi.

"Then you know what happened. On one hand, you and I kept meeting, kept fighting, kept getting closer to each other. On the other hand, Shyam became a part of our family, first winning Bua-ji's trust and then Amma and Babuji's after he convinced them to visit us. When Babu-ji got sick, Shyam manipulated the family into agreeing to an engagement between us. I resisted as long as I could. I didn't want to be engaged to him. After Nainital, I knew. I knew what you were to me, that I ... I loved ... lo-loved y-you. I asked Devi Maiyaa for a sign and she sent me three."

Arnav stilled, her halting confession catching him off guard.

He wondered if she still felt the same way.


	26. Chapter 26: Khushi

**Chapter 26: Khushi**

Her heart pounded.

 _You're stupid, Khushi, to tell him you love him now._

Khushi ignored the voice in her head and listened to her heart. The time for lies and secrets was over. It was their one hope of getting through this.

"But the night of Diwali changed everything," she continued. "You announced your engagement to Lavanya-ji and I lost my only reason to say no. I didn't have the strength to keep denying my family so I agreed to the engagement. Do you remember the day you bandaged my hand at the temple?"

"Yes. I remember every moment I've spent with you," Arnav-ji replied softly, holding her tighter against him.

"That day, at 6, I was meant to engaged. But I was at the temple, with you placing a bandage on the same finger Shyam would have put the ring on. Devi Maiyya protected me that day, protected us. When I finally reached home, Shyam had convinced Bua-ji that horoscopes don't matter, and we did the exchange of rings immediately. Then I lost the ring, and you found out."

Her voice trailed away as she remembered Arnav-ji's pain, his anger. The words he'd used to hurt her, while agony shone in his eyes.

"I became suspicious after Jiji and Jija's* wedding was fixed. I found out the truth the next day, the Satyanarayan pooja. Do you remember how I came into your room that day? My feet carried me there when I was worrying about Shyam. I saw Di's husband for the first time that day, found out he was Shyam, and broke my engagement. I saw you at your pool a few minutes later."

He'd asked if her fiancé had hurt her. She hadn't denied it, but had kept silent when she realised the truth would destroy him. His sister was his whole world.

"Bua-ji kicked him out of her home that night. I didn't know if it was the right thing, but I decided not to tell Di and destroy two families with the shameful truth. Shyam misbehaved with me every chance he got. That day, on the terrace, I thought you'd invited me up there. But Shyam was there, saying he'd written the message on my mirror. I tried to get away but he forced me to stay. I yelled but no one could hear me."

Arnav-ji had stilled. He was frozen in anger; she could feel the tension in his arms, in his chest. She stopped, afraid to tell him any more.

* * *

* _Sister and Brother-in-law_ ; meaning Payal and Aakash


	27. Chapter 27: Arnav

**Chapter 27: Arnav**

 _What have I done?_

The blood drained from Arnav's face as he realized that he'd trapped Khushi in the same house as her tormentor. Shyam had been daring enough while he was at home, staring at Khushi, giving her presents, leering at her when he thought no one was looking. He felt sick as he imagined the things Shyam could have done to her, said to her, while he was gone from the house.

He could have protected Khushi if he'd bothered to learn the truth from her. He could've made sure that Shyam never came anywhere near her.

Khushi had been silent for more than ten minutes now. He shifted, pulling her against him to keep her warm. She was still shivering.

"Khushi, baby," he murmured, "You can stop if you want. I don't need to hear this. I believe you, I don't need you to prove it."

She shuddered, a sob escaping her, and she turned into his chest to cry. He held her closer.

Khushi haltingly told him the rest: Holi, the talent show night, Shyam's conditions, the documents, and Khushi's plan when she hid them.

"But everything went wrong. You were coming to London without telling me, and I couldn't get Shyam to the airport in time. You left, and when I returned to Shantivan, I found that the papers were missing."

"The Shyam started to misbehave with me in earnest. He got bolder by the day in your absence, daring to come into our room uninvited. One morning he showered in our bathroom and stood shirtless in our room, forcing me to speak with him before I could get away."

Arnav's vision blurred. He had to get away from Khushi. He was going to destroy something and he didn't want to hurt her. He hurled himself from the bed.

"Arnav-ji," came Khushi's voice from their bedroom a few minutes later, "you're going to hurt yourself."

Her voice did what no violence could. He calmed. He stood in the lounge, surrounded by wreckage. He'd punched holes into the walls and smashed a glass coffee table. His hands were bleeding.

He returned to her a few minutes later. She reacted to his bleeding knuckles with concern, silently wrapping his hand with a strip torn from the bed sheet before caressing his cheek.

"You have to be more careful," Khushi admonished.

Arnav took her in his arms and settled them back against the bedhead. He thought she'd fallen asleep when she spoke again.

"Tonight I had a dream that Shyam was in our bedroom when you weren't there, and he was coming closer to the bed."


	28. Chapter 28: Khushi

**Chapter 28: Khushi**

Khushi felt tired and cold, exhausted from telling Arnav-ji everything she'd hidden from him. She hoped he believed her, but there was a lot of anger in his eyes and she wasn't sure how much of it was directed at her.

He didn't say anything for long minutes, silently wrapping the blanket around them before embracing her. She leaned back into him, grateful for his comfort.

When he finally spoke, it was in a deep rumble that she felt in his chest more than heard.

"I'm sorry I brought you so much pain. I wish... I wish I'd made it easier for you to confide in me, that I'd been a better ... a better friend to you. I want to be a much better husband. If you ... if you still w-want me."

"I'm really sorry, Khushi. I should have talked to you. I never should have married you like that. That night I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I promise you baby, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

"I'm going to take care of Shyam when we return to India. I'm going to make sure he doesn't hurt you or Di ever again. I'll make everything okay, I promise."

"I know you will," Khushi replied, "You always do."

* * *

 _The End_

* * *

 _Thank you very much for reading and commenting on Forgive Her Anything :)_

 _I hope you liked seeing how I thought Arnav and Khushi would work out their misunderstanding if left in isolation ... in a city that's like neutral ground for them. They have a long way to go - they've only just begun to heal - but this story ends here; I don't intend to write anything further in this AU.  
_

 _From my FAQ:_

2\. How could you end it there!?

Each story explores a theme or topic, and thus each story ends when I feel I've explored that theme or topic.

 _All my stories are written with a goal in mind._ _Forgive Her Anything_ _was always about allowing Khushi and Arnav to actually speak to one another. Once that was done, I didn't see the need to continue._

 _If you enjoyed Forgive Her Anything, you might like RISHTAA, my latest work -_

This is no longer the story of a girl who crashed a fashion show and a man who thought she was a corporate spy.

It's her last year of college, and Khushi's family are looking for a husband for their youngest daughter. She dreams of a prince who will laugh and smile and dance with her, someone who will take her to watch Salman-ji films and buy her jalebis.

But Devi Maiyya has other ideas, and they all take the form of a textile tycoon with a penchant for black. Arnav, a diabetic who doesn't believe in marriage, is the latest in a line of suitors at Khushi's door. But he's the first with no intention of saying yes.

Marriage is a journey of two people, and of two families, and this _rishtaa_ will change everything.


End file.
